Top 10 Dirty Dr. Seuss Quotes

Yea...don't tell me you don't see it...

Ok first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DR. SEUSS!  You were a great man!

If you didn’t already know…today is Dr. Seuss’s bday! This post is in honor of this wonderful guy.

I loved reading Dr. Seuss books when I was [a little bit] younger; I’m sure most people did.  In fact, I can’t think of ANYBODY that didn’t like Dr. Seuss.  If you are reading this, and you DON’T like Dr. Seuss, you are probably either posessed by some evil spirit or have an icebox where your heart used to be (thank you Omarion).

Reading Dr. Seuss as a child, is kind of like watching a Disney movie…you can’t interpret all the pornographic stuff at that age, but then when you see it later on, you realize why you had all those perverted dreams about Princess Jasmine after watching the first Aladdin.

Yea don't tell me you don't see it...
Don’t believe me?  Have you ever read Green Eggs and Ham? Don’t you think theres something fishy about a dude named Sam-I-Am running after an unnammed character with a questionable sexual orientation and trying to make him (or her) eat his 2 green eggs and a ham?

Still don’t believe me? Go ask somebody that speaks spanish how to say “eggs,” and then ask them what else the word means…

STILL don’t believe me? Well lets get right into the evidence then!

Here they are – The top 10 Dirty Dr. Seuss Quotes!

10.

This one is tied between the following:
10a:

And suppose that you lived
In that forest in France
Where the average young person
Just hasn’t a chance
To escape from the perilous
Pants eating plants!

…”Pants eating plants”? French Hooker? Or is the Dr. teaching us at an early age that France is the country associated with MAKIN LOOOVE…?

10b:

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

…yea…you can’t fall asleep now cuz u’re gettin some!

9.

I’m afraid sometimes
you’ll play lonely games too,
games you can’t win
because you’ll play against you

…just in case you AREN’T gettin some…you know what 2 do…

8.

If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.

…what are “these things“? This could really make a child experiement with their sexual orientation…

7.

And when they played they really played. And when they worked they really worked.

…Sounds like my wife and I…we’re both Virgos…so we REALLY work when we work….and REALLY __[verb]__ when we __[verb]__!
(have fun with that ad-lib)

6.

I’m sorry to say
so but, sadly it’s true
that bang-ups and hang-ups
can happen to you

Hi Jane! Guess what that bastard did! He spent a night with me and never called me after that! It’s okay, I’ve been ready for this day since I was 5! Dr. Seuss told me it would happen to me…I wonder if he was psychic?

5.

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me.

…girls are trouble, but it’s okay because I have a big bat! I can handle them from ahead or behind now!

4.

You’re going to be roped!
And you’re going to be caged!
And, as for your dust speck — hah!
That we shall boil in a hot steaming kettle of Beezle-Nut Oil!

…some light bondage anyone? And DUST SPECK? Come on! I thought I had a baseball bat!? Oh well, I guess that kinda talk is part of the whole role playing thing…

3.

The storm starts when the drops start dropping. When the drops stop dropping, the storm starts stopping.

…Yea I think that makes perfect sense, just hope that the storm doesn’t start too early! Cuz you know she will be pissed…

2.

We have a tie for this one as well!:
2a:

A person’s a person, no matter how small.

Translation: Size Doesn’t Matter!

2b:

Shorth is better than length.

Translation: Size Doesn’t Matter again! And what the hell is SHORTH? As defined by Urban Dictionary: Shorth (Noun): The noun form of [short]; opposite of [length] …Hmm, NEED I say more on this?.
.
.

1.

AND THE NUMBER ONE DIRTY DR. SEUSS QUOTE!:

As you partake of the world’s bill of fare,/ that’s darned good advice to follow./ Do a lot of spitting out the hot air./ And be careful what you swallow.

…”be careful what you swallow.” Yes thank you doctor, but I think the world would have been a MUCH better place had you NOT given this advice to chicks…

…enjoy your green eggs and ham today!


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4 Responses to Top 10 Dirty Dr. Seuss Quotes

  1. fffffffffffffffff says:

    you just have a perverted mind.

  2. Deepu says:

    maybe i do…mayyyyybeeeee i do 🙂

  3. kayla Oritz says:

    His quotes don’t mean any of what you say! Its your sick mind!

  4. Deepu says:

    lol are you SURE Kayla!? are you sure you’re reading them correctly?

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