How to Get Somebody Pulled Over

Yea he got pulled over!
Yea he got pulled over!


Arguably, EVERYBODY gets road rage at one point or another. Some people may get it MORE than others, some may get it WORSE than others. Today I learned that WHEN you cut somebody off or HOW you do it is not nearly as important as how the person you cut off REACTS!

So I was driving along my merry old way this morning, in the left lane, which was moving slightly slower then optimal, so I shifted into the middle lane. Murphy’s Law took into effect, the middle lane now started moving slower, so I put my signal on to move back into the left lane.

Sounds normal right? And it basically was, EXCEPT for the fact that the guy behind me in the left lane was a JERK! He was one of those annoying old guys that have a control issue, and DO NOT want you to be in front of them. Because, you see, once I put my signal on to go back to the left lane, he started speeding up!

So basically we have two facts down:

1. He is an old guy jerk control freak that doesn’t want anybody to be in front of him.

2. I am stubborn and don’t give a shit.

Moving on, my stubborn ass changed lanes anyway! The guy was SO close at thise point that he had to shift wayyyy to the left (halfway into the diamond lane)…he was PISSED!

Road Rage

Road Rage

He flew into the middle lane…the right lane…and then back into the middle lane ahead of me…at this point i KNEW he wanted to cut me off! He was about to cut off the car in front of me, but he stopped. So at this point I was 100% sure that he was going to cut me off, and shove that New York license plate right in my face.

So basically I was caught in, a Nigga Moment, (except he was an old white guy, and I’m brown).

I look in my right sideview mirror, a cop in the middle lane!

I look up ahead, this old white jerk is going to cut me off as soon as the car in front of me goes ahead!

I have TWO options at this point:

1. Just stay back and let him get in front of me, because I know it’s gonna happen anyways.


2. Keep going forward, PRETENDING like I don’t know that he’s gonna cut me off, and then start acting up about it in front of the cop!


This kind of reminds me of that time when I had AOL and I created this thing that would terminate somebody’s account, and I was messing around with my friend (at the time, he is no longer my friend), and I used it, and HIS ACCOUNT ACTUALLY GOT TERMINATED! I was like a Primitive-Spiderman…GREAT power, and NOT ENOUGH responsibility!

I chose option 2! I kept moving forward at my regular speed until that jerk cut me off. I acted surprised and SLAMMED on my brake (in front of the cop)!

The cop swerved around into the right lane, back into the middle lane, and then into the left lane right behind this fool New Yorker that cut me off…20 seconds later…click, his police lights come on, the guy gets pulled over! I drive by, looking at who I just owned, kind of feeling bad, and kind of laughing…

Mostly Laughing 🙂

Morals of the Story:
-Don’t get caught in Nigga Moment with a Brown guy!
-Road Rage is NOT worth it! Unless you’re talking about the Simpsons game…

You also might like:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *