Girls Talking vs Guys Listening

Notice the sharp decline in listening as talking increases
Notice the sharp decline in listening as talking increases

Chart XY

Ok so back in my college days, I was MUCH more creative! I was always thinking about (and finding new) patterns of the universe. One day, after coming out of multi-variable calculus, I had the most invaluable realization! There is a definite inverse relationship between the how much chicks talk vs how much guys listen! I had created a graph for my girlfriend at the time (my wife now), and I have re-created this graph so that you may all understand my findings!

As chicks talk more, there is a sharp decline in the amount that guys listen. Please refer to Chart XY above. This is caused by an obvious inverse relationship between the two events (chicks talking vs guys listening).

Just like the supply/demand curve in economics, this picture is worth a thousand words. Ladies, to figure out how much your guys listen to you, find your talking amount on the X-axis, and see where the listening amount falls.

To make things easier, I have broken the chart down into three different zones, these zones are broken down as follows:


  • Golden Zone (ORANGE – 5% of chicks fall into this): Ladies! This is where you want to be! Here is where we are FULLY listening to you! Talking on your part is a minimal, so your words are a scarce resource (like gold). We will cherish all your words, because this is where our listening capacities are at a maximum!
  • Depression Zone (BLUE – 35% of chicks fall into this): This is where a guys listening takes a SHARP decline. The main concern for the ladies here is that you aren’t getting many more words in. In this zone, the elasticity of a guys listening is at a maximum, meaning that even a slight increase in the amount of talking by the girl will lead to a massive decrease in listening capacity of the guy. Do you understand! We are highly elastic here! This is called the depression zone, because the sharp decline is similar to that of the stock market during the Great Depression. Also, it is in this zone that guys start to feel depressed…
  • Political Zone (PINK – 60% of chicks fall into this zone): This is the zone where listening capacity has come to a minimal. If you are already in this zone, your guy is already barely listening to you. Our elasticity is just about gone, so if you talk a lot more or less, it won’t make much difference; our listening capacity is just about dead already. This is called the Political Zone because of it’s Politician Effect. What…you don’t know what the Politician Effect is? It just means that there’s a whole lot of blowing off steam and talking, but it’s not very efficent, nobody really listens anymore, and nothing much gets done.

This concludes our Sexonomics class for the day, I hope you learned something!

*WARNING: Trying to implement the information above could result in serious injury or death by your significant other. Do not attempt to use the information above unless you are fully trained by a relationship professional.

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