35 Signs that You’re Addicted to Halo Reach

Halo Has Me By the...
Addicted to Halo...

Addicted to Halo...

So I just recently got my copy of Halo Reach on black friday. I’ve been good for quite some time, my last addiction was Gears of War 2, but I’ve gotten over that. I’ve been off the XBox for over a year now, and I wasn’t planningon getting this new Halo either. Good old amazon had it on black fridayfor $29, so I thought I was getting an awesome deal! Little did I know…In addition to those $29, I’m paying for it with my life! …which I’ve relinquished to the Master Chief…So without further ado, here are some signs that you are addicted to Halo Reach!:

  1. The only breaks you take are the 20 second time periods in between matchmaking games…and you try to do all your daily tasks in those chunks of time..such as:
    • going to the bathroom
    • brushing your teeth
    • eating breakfast
  2. When your boss turns around you feel like melee-ing them from behind to get that one hit kill
  3. On a weeknight, while playing matchmaking…you tell yourself that you will quit after “just one more game,” but you don’t end up doing as well as you wanted, so you have to play “one more game” again…this continues well into the night…
  4. You can never look at a teabag the same way again
  5. When somebody slips on a patch of ice and falls over, you point and shout “you got pWned!”
  6. You buy a pink master chief helmet for your wife…and tell her to wear it on “role playing night”…
  7. Some mornings, you wake up and start deciding whether to choose a jet pack so you can beat the rush hour traffic, or active cam, so you can slip out of that boring morning meeting…
  8. You hate the funny armor effects in halo reach, because you feel like it takes the “reality” out of the game…it’s a freakin GAME!
  9. You’ve started seeing a reticle even when your NOT playing halo, it’s permanently ingrained into your eyesight…….and it turns red when you look at your boss’s head…
  10. A “halo” doesn’t mean that thing on top of an angel anymore…yes, people, halo has another meaning outside of the covenant!
  11. Words like “covenant” and “elite” now incite negative emotions in you…
  12. For your history class essay on the significance of spartans, you just wrote “they are the good guys”

    Halo Has Me By the...

    Halo Has Me By the...

  13. When you walk into a rough neighborhood, you ALWAYS wear a helmet just in case somebody tries to get a headshot…
  14. When somebody says “red, white, and blue”…you sometimes wonder what the WHITE is for?
  15. At the club, you go to the DJ booth and request the halo theme, and get pissed off when he doesn’t play it.
  16. You hit your friend in the head with a rubber band from 5 feet away and yell out “NO SCOPE!!”
  17. You suddenly feel like becoming an astronaut
  18. When you walk over something on the floor, instead of bending down to pick it up, you mentally try to “press X”
  19. You use xboxlive matchmaking to find dates…
  20. You actually WENT ON a date that you found on xbox live
  21. Your date was virtual, on xbox live, playing halo doubles…(if this really happened, just kill yourself now…)
  22. When somebody asks what your dream car is, you smile and respond: “Banshee!”
  23. You best dream was that you WERE the master chief, and you could repeatedly perform superjumps
  24. You teach your kid to “dual wield” when eating his steak, it’s rude to just eat with just a fork!
  25. You realized that the last few don’t even apply to halo reach…and started to get irritated…
  26. You sometimes stop during gameplay to enjoy the halo scenery
  27. You try to run over animals on the road because subconciously you think you’ll get medals for it…
  28. When signing a legal document, you accidentally write your gamertag…
  29. Laser tag just became a LOT MORE FUN!
  30. Before your laser tag game starts, you yell out “SLAYER!!!” and then quickly start looking for the spawn points…
  31. You have the urge to throw a grenade around any corner BEFORE you turn……just in case…
  32. While hunting, you start jumping around…so you can dodge the grenades…
  33. You think the word “montage” is defined as “collection of halo video clips”
  34. You took the time to actually read this whole list….haha what a loser!
  35. You took the time to actually WRITE this whole list…………………….dammit…..

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